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PaulEpisode 1: When I Hated Paul (December, 2003)So. There's this kid named Paul Piracci, right? Big, dumb, stereotypical football player. He happens to also like singing, which is why I find myself sharing sixth period (Chamber Choir) with him. Now, ordinarily, I like Chamber Choir a lot. However, Paul Piracci doesn't like me. I don't know why. Perhaps because he's my absolute antithesis. He views me as the Anti-Paul. In many ways, I am. We share select few traits. Skinny and weak versus beefy and strong. So, whenever he or I is bored with the sheer tedium of Chamber Choir, we elect to directly and intentionally antagonize the other. Usually it comes to a scuffle of sorts, usually ending up with me spazzing out on the ground choking and imitating an insurance spokesduck. Occasionally I will score a point or two, but inevitably I pay for it in triplicate. As they say, however, a picture is worth...some words. So I will provide a photograph for those of you lucky enough to be using graphical browsers.  Yes indeed. That picture, taken by the masterful Ryan Millager, also a frequent attendee of Chamber Choir, encapsulates Paul Piracci's and my relationship. Notice the grin on my face. The following photograph, taken by another citizen of Chamber Choir (Greg Hirsh), depicts Paul dressed in my own distinctive garb, right down to the spectacles.  To take out my frustration with this gigantic lump of humanity, I sat down at my Casio CTK-731 keyboard and played repetitive chords. Basically G Major D Major F Major C Major. And that's it. After a time, I applied a vocal melody above it all, and I had myself something resembling a song. All that was left was to add lyrics, easily done, and I had an actual song. I printed off a copy and took it into class for my revenge. The first time through was rough. I don't play the piano, you understand, so finding the fingerings was a feat. However, it got the point across, and eventually it became second nature. These days, whenever I am annoyed or frustrated by anything at all, I find myself humming the opening chords to the song, which I have entitled Paul Sucks. People who know us both maintain that Paul and I don't truly hate each other. For my part, I try hard not to hate anyone at all, but it is quite a stretch with the likes of Paul Piracci. He is everything that I am not, and nearly nothing that I am. There is no reason for people as angry and annoying to live on this planet. I believe the song says it all.
So, I've had some time to reflect, and I realize that I may have said some hurtful things above. As such, I feel compelled to elucidate more clearly my opinions on the enigma that is Paul Piracci.
What a beast. He's an awesome singer, a rock-hard piece of Humanity, and an sweet dude, at least as far as I'm concerned. He's a lot like me in many ways. Mostly in that we both like to make fun of everyone and everything, including to a great extent each other.
Something that's begun to sink in for me is that Paul, along with a lot of my other favorite people, will be leaving forever in about a month. Some of these people I'll never see again. Now, I fully expect to see most of them many times in the future, but there's a lot of seniors who I won't see again, and that's kind of strange to think about. For the most part, people don't just walk out of my life like that. I've lived here in Carrboro for my entire life, and I know people I've known since I was an infant. And some of those people are leaving in a month. It's completely bizarre to think about.
I've grown really close to Paul this year. We are really good friends, even if he still beats me up from time to time. It's a bizarre and awesome kind of relationship we have, and it'll suck next year when it's gone. Especially since I'll have only the scumbags that make up my own class to talk to now. And, of course, the scumbags in the grades below.
At any rate, I've grown fond of Paul, and I'll miss him.
I love you, man.
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