Werner Reunion 2007

Just a month ago, I went to Colorado Springs with my family. There are a lot of them, and I actually enjoyed hanging out with them. I wouldn't want to be locked in a room with them for all eternity, but a week was really quite fun.

As for vacation spots, though, the beach wins. The mountains are fun, but I found myself longing for the sight of open ocean, the feel of sand between my toes, the pleasure of going barefoot for an entire week. Where vacationing in the mountains was fun, vacationing at the beach is always relaxing. Being an introvert, I much prefer relaxation to overstimulation. Nevertheless, here is my true account of those seven days.

Day One: Cascade, Colorado

Bright and early on the morning of July 16, I awoke to the shrill noise of my alarm clock. It was time to go on a trip. I got out of bed and went to the airport with my mother and father. Because (a) all flights in the continental United States must be routed through Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport, and because (b) Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport was experiencing poor weather on the morning of July 16, our flight was delayed by about an hour and a half. We (barely) managed to make our connection in Dallas, but our luggage was sadly left behind, which we discovered a few short hours later when we met my brother, Andy at the Colorado Springs airport. We weren't about to let this minor setback set us back, though, so we hopped in our rental Pontiac Torrent (if memory serves) and drove the short distance to Cascade, where our splendid accomodations were located.

This vacation was, you will see, a family reunion of massive proportions. We would be joined not only by my mother's three siblings and their offspring, but also by her numerous uncles and cousins and their families. At the time we arrived at the lodge, though, only Chris (my cousin) and Jacque (his wife) were yet there.

Soon, other aunts and uncles and cousins arrived, and we enjoyed a delicious catered meal, planned by my fastastic mother. I wanted to have a dip in the hot tub after this, but my swimsuit was (like everything but the clothes on my back) somewhere between Dallas and Colorado. Bedtime, then? Yes.

Day Two: Doing Pretty Much Nothing, and Loving It

I will summarize Day Two in bullet points, because it wasn't very exciting. But that was why it was so wonderful. I hadn't done nothing for so long that I'd forgotten what it was like. And it was deliciously relaxing. But on with the list:

• Woke up, got luggage back, thanks to a 1 AM visit by an airline employee who woke up the innkeepers to deliver it.
• Drove to get groceries with my family.
• Was shot by Andy with his $0.49 foam disc shooter.
• Sat in the gazebo and read my advance copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
• Chilled in the hot tub. (Get it? Heh.)
• Went to bed.

Day Three: The Manitou Grands

The main attraction of Day Three was the Cave of the Winds. There were two available tours: the "Discovery" Tour (read: lame) and the Lantern Tour. If you've ever been to a cave before, you probably went on something like the Discovery Tour. Most passages are at least six feet high and shoulder-width wide so as to be accessible to most adults. There are lights mounted in the cave walls, and usually once or twice during this type of tour, the guide will turn off the lights and allow the group to experience total darkness. I've been to Mammoth Cave in Kentucky and Linville Caverns in North Carolina, and both fit this description.

Most of my family went on the Discovery Tour. Only my brother Andy, my cousin Sarah, and I were brave enough to choose the Lantern Tour, which is conducted in a completely darkened cave. The only light is that cast from kerosene lanterns held by the people on the tour. Below, you'll find some pictures I took on the Lantern Tour. I think they turned out really well.

In addition to the limited lighting, there were a lot more tight squeezes in the Lantern Tour. We explored a completely different cave system (the Manitou Grand Caverns) than the people on the Discovery Tour. Many of the rooms were really incredible, and the guide also told us a lot about the history of the cave. There were only five of us on the tour (the three of us, plus a man and his son), so we could ask the guide questions about everything we saw. It was really neat.

Day Four: An Encounter with a Rusty Lunchbucket

The next day's excursion was horseback riding. We drove to the Academy Riding Stables and were given ridiculous-looking helmets and horses to ride. Mine was named Rusty. He had a muzzle to keep him from grazing along the side of the road, but it didn't do much good. He ate at every opportunity. We'd stop to look at some really cool rock formation, and Rusty would eat. We'd pause to let the slower horses in the back catch up, and Rusty would munch. We'd wait for a car to pass, and Rusty would grab a quick bite. Once, when the horses were all walking in a line, and everyone else's horse was perfectly behaved, Rusty veered to the side of the path and chowed down. One of the wranglers told me Rusty's nickname was Lunchbucket, and I'm not surprised. What a pig.

The scenery was cool, but the ride was actually pretty uncomfortable (my saddle wasn't as ergonomic as I would have liked). I can't say that I would recommend it, or that I would voluntarily seek out horse riding again. It was fun, but probably also the activity I enjoyed least on the trip.

That evening, the extended family arrived on the scene. Cousins, uncles, aunts I never knew I had descended upon Cascade, Colorado. We had a catered dinner of hors-d'oeuvres that was really tasty.

Day Five: The Cog Railroad

A cog railroad, pictured above, has a third track. This track has teeth which work with cogs underneath the train. This allows cog trains to go up much steeper inclines (such as, say, the side of a mountain) than can ordinary trains. They are rare, but one such track is built up the side of Pikes Peak. Predictably, it's called the Pikes Peak Cog Railway. Not being a very physically active family, this was our method of choice for conquering all 14,115 feet of Pikes Peak[1]. It was a crowded train, but there were some truly spectacular views on the way up.

Crowded train	Spectacular views

At the top, the air was thin and cold, but I was prepared. I also wrestled a marmot to the ground. Unfortunately, all Andy's photos of my triumph were victims of accidental deletion, so I cannot display them here.

That evening, we had a Fancy Family Dinner at a Restaurant. I had something delicious, and I got to know my sort-of-cousin Russell. He's a pretty cool guy.

Day Six: Many Things Happen

Day Six was the busiest of all. In fact, I think I'll split it into three days.

Day Six Point One: The Glass-Bottomed Boat

I've always thought it would be really neat to go in a glass-bottomed boat through a coral reef or something. All the fun of diving with none of the bends or getting wet. Unfortunately, there are no coral reefs in Colorado, so I had to settle for the next best thing: a ride in a glass-topped train.

What, you ask, another train ride? That's right, dear reader. Another (awesome) train ride. This one, creatively named the Royal Gorge Route, was through the Royal Gorge. We rented an entire car with domed windows. It was very comfortable. On the return trip, we all went out to the open-air car for photographs. That was my favorite part of it.

Dad, showing off the the open air car. I haven't been on many trains, but I didn't know they had cars where you could just be out in the air. Whatever happened to "please keep your heads, hands, and feet inside the train at all times"?

Day Six Point Two: Stephen Gets Wet

I enjoy whitewater rafting. It's cold, and it's wet, and it's scary, but I love it. I didn't bring my camera, so unfortunately, there are no pictures, but it was a ton of fun. I sat in front, where I took the brunt of all incoming water. If you've never been rafting (and you don't mind getting cold and wet), I suggest you go. One tip, though: bring waterproof shoes. I didn't really have anything like that with me, so I went rafting in sneakers. Not a great plan, and it made my feet really cold.

Andy just finished an eventful afternoon of whitewater rafting. He is ready for a dip in the hot tub and a nap.

Day Six Point Three: Pizza and Karaoke

The next day, we were to leave, and so on the evening of Day Six, it was our responsibility to get rid of leftovers. Instead, I went with my relatives to Green Mountain, where we ate at a bar adjacent to a pizza store. The pizza was really good.

We learned that it was karaoke night early in the evening, and my uncle Keith was excited right from the start. After some beer, he was ready to sign up. He kicked off the evening with a rousing rendition of "Wild Thing" by the Troggs.

Generally speaking, I stay away from Karaoke. No one ever sounds good under those circumstances, and I would never expect that I would. When people recommend I sing something, I ignore them. But so many of my relatives had performed that I felt like I had to, if only to prove I was at least as ballsy as them.

So I painstakingly chose a song ("Walking in Memphis" by Marc Cohn) and turned in my slip to the nice karaoke man. After waiting about two hours, it was time for me to go. I don't think I did very well (I was extremely nervous), but I was received warmly, and not just by my own family, which occupied 3/4 of the bar. Nancy, from Grand Rapids, Michigan, came up to me later and told me how good I was. "I wish I could get my son to do something like that!"

Day Seven: Leaving

Day Seven isn't worth writing about.