Paul Sucks

I talk a lot about Paul on his own page, but I'll repeat a little bit of that here. Paul is a graduating senior and a good friend of mine, and I wrote a song about him. This is it. If you want preliminary sheet music (it should have some more meter changes, but Finale NotePad wouldn't let me), I have that here. Below are the piano chords and the lyrics.

But what you probably really came for is the mp3. Let me tell you in the most direct terms I know how. This is probably the worst time I've ever performed this song. I don't know what was up with me and my voice that day, but this song is terrible. I post it here only in the hopes that someone will download it and later blackmail me. The piano is decent, and the guitar at the beginning is awesome, but the vocals are excrutiating. Could they be any more excrutiating? I really don't think so. Maybe if they were recorded by a strangled cat with a smoking problem. Literally. I seriously don't think I hit any correct pitches anywhere in any of this song. Anyway, it can be downloaded with the following link (use at your own risk):

• Paul Sucks: The mp3 (192kbps)

I'm going to take a moment to tell you really quick why I like techies. So I'm talking to my nerd friends, who have all listened to the above mp3. They all tell me "really good job" etc. I say "No, dudes. It sucked hardcore." I get back things like "What are you talking about?!" I take it to my techies, and Tanner says, "Wow, dude. That blows." I love techies.

Now the chords.

Intro:
|: G D F C :| (3x)

D     C
Paul,

You really make me want to die.

|: C C D D :|

Am  G
Oh, Paul!
G   G  G C    n/c
Why do I hate you?
            G              D/F#
Well you're fat and you're mean
      Em              G
And a football player too,
       G              D/F#
You're big and you're dumb
        Em               G
And you kick my ass; I'm smaller than
G              D/F#
You don't like anyone
    Em           G   D/F# C/E
And nobody likes you-oo - oo.

|: C C D D :|

            G             D/F#
'Cause Paul sucks, yes he sucks,
       Em            G
Yes he really really sucks,
   G             D/F#
He vandalized my music,
   Em             G  D/F#
He drew a picture of my
G           D/F#
Mother in a lewd,
  Em        G D/F#  C/E
Unnatural positio - on.

|: C C D D :|

        G             Em
One one thing we can agree:
       G                   C
I hate Paul and Paul hates me.
        G                Em
We were once the best of friends,
    C  Bm   Am G   Em   G G
But we will ne-ver make a-mends.

C C D D G